WEEK 55 | The Lotus Flower that Blooms

Monday Muster
Written By Quince

January 20-26, 2025

Scars.

 

“You become an adult the moment you stop dreaming.”

The topic of dreams is one that fascinates SUGA. It finds its way into his (and BTS’) songs time and time again. The above quote, something he’s often repeated to his bandmates, shows an idealistic outlook on youthful ambition and the desire to hold on to it like lightning in a bottle.

Agust D

We know that SUGA had to grow up quicker than the other members of BTS. Given that his parents didn’t support his choice to pursue a music career, he was largely providing for himself before he had even left Daegu to come to Seoul—before he was even out of high school. He didn’t want to, that’s just how it happened. Instead of holding on to the halcyon days of youthful dreams, he had to work multiple jobs to make sure he had enough money to get by.


Is it true though that we lose the ability to dream when we acknowledge the loss of our youth? The character of Peter Pan comes to mind—he never wanted to grow up either. He wanted to play pretend and have fun forever. Adults forget how to use their imagination. The implication is that once you prioritize responsibilities and consequences, you lose your youth, and the ability to dream.


Of course, this isn’t exactly true. But it can certainly feel like it sometimes. Adults can dream, but perhaps not with the same idealistic bravado that we do in our youth. By the time the Pandemic hit and he released D-2 in 2020, SUGA (both in his solo music and with BTS) had done what he needed to do to get where he suddenly found himself—reaching new heights of fame and celebrity. BTS would continue to rise even more over the next few years, and in turn SUGA would find himself weighed down by a new host of those aforementioned responsibilities and consequences. 


Was he dreaming anymore? In 2021 he began working on his next solo project. Agust D had been him processing his trauma and fears… D-2 a nod to his past, present, and future. What would this next project be? As SUGA faced himself dreamless, seemingly with no stories left to tell, he realized that what he needed was to find a reason to dream again. His youth was behind him, how would he navigate creativity in his thirties? He needed to leave the past behind, but how? How could he acknowledge the loss of his youthful outlook, and still embrace himself with grace and acceptance in the now? 


The answer was simple enough—he would need to take a long look in the mirror at his scars, and then say…


“D-Day’s coming, it’s a fucking good day…”


 
 
 
 

Skip to Content: Day One | Day Two | Day Three | Day Four | Day Five

 

DAY ONE:

Interlude: Shadow Comeback Trailer

Last week, we talked about D-2, AGUST D’s second mixtape, which was released in 2020. A few months earlier, just before the beginning of the COVID-19 Pandemic, BTS released their fourth studio album, Map of the Soul: 7. It explored psychologist Carl Jung’s concept of the “Map of the Soul” which shows the three key parts of the personality that Jung believed made up the soul: persona, shadow, and ego. According to Jung, the shadow is the part of the unconscious mind that contains repressed ideas, weaknesses, and desires. 


SUGA’s solo (my favorite of his in BTS’ discography) on Map of the Soul: 7 was “Interlude: Shadow”. In the lyrics he worried that the big dreams he had for himself and BTS have caused him to fly too high, and destroy who he was as a person. He found himself wondering if he had anything left to dream for after reaching the heights he had with BTS.

Going higher, higher, and only higher, higher,
it makes me dizzy
Going only higher, higher
I hate it
I pray, pray that I will be okay
The moment I’m flying high as I wished,
my shadow grows larger, beat down upon by that light

Please don’t let me shine

Don’t let me down

Don’t let me fly

Shortly after MOTS: 7 released, the Pandemic hit and BTS had to cancel their world tour and a lot of their comeback schedule. SUGA suddenly found himself with a lot of time on his hands and his concern about dreams continued to hound him in the back of his mind. Had he grown past dreaming? Was it impossible for him now? These are the thoughts he took into his writing sessions for D-DAY.

 

‘Interlude: Shadow’ Comeback Trailer


 
 

“Eight” IU (Prod. and Feat. SUGA) IU’s Palette

 

Answer: 3 Units BANGBANGCoN Performance: “Respect” (RM, SUGA) | 2020 FESTA

 

MAX - “Blueberry Eyes (feat. SUGA of BTS)” Official M/V

 

Fun Fact:

“MIN YOONGI AND PARK JAE-SANG!”


Even if the only K-Pop group you listen to is BTS, there’s a great chance that you still know who Park Jae-Sang is… although, probably by his stage name: PSY.

In 2012, a year before BTS debuted, PSY, an Idol signed under YG Entertainment, released his sixth studio album, Psy 6 (Six Rules), Part 1. It’s lead single, “Gangnam Style” went viral a few months later, thanks to it’s well-produced, over-the-top music video and PSY’s larger-than-life personality. “Gangnam Style” garnered worldwide appreciation and PSY brought a lot of attention to K-Pop, but sadly it wasn’t more than a summer trend in the western music market.

At home in South Korea though, PSY became K-Pop royalty, eventually leaving YG and starting his own label, P Nation. He continued releasing music and bolstering up and coming artists. In 2022, PSY asked SUGA to co-write and produce a track for him—another fun summer song—this one celebrating the end of the Pandemic.

The result was “That That”, and… well, we’re eternally grateful for it. PSY and SUGA seem like a duo that shouldn’t work together, but they absolutely do. It’s catchy, it’s fun, it’s hilarious. “It’s…. like THAT, ahhhh!”

  1. "THAT THAT" PSY (PROD AND FEAT SUGA) | TEASER 1 (0:28)

  2. "THAT THAT" PSY (PROD AND FEAT SUGA) | TEASER 2 (0:26)

  3. "THAT THAT" PSY (PROD AND FEAT SUGA) | TEASER 3 (0:17)

  4. "THAT THAT" PSY (PROD AND FEAT SUGA) | OFFICIAL M/V (3:37)

  5. "THAT THAT" PSY (PROD AND FEAT SUGA) | COLOR CODED LYRICS (2:54)

  6. "THAT THAT" PSY (PROD AND FEAT SUGA) | MV BEHIND THE SCENES (4:53)

  7. EPISODE: "THAT THAT" (PROD. & FT. SUGA OF BTS) | MV SHOOT SKETCH (7:38)

  8. BANGTAN BOMB: "THAT THAT" (PROD. & FT. SUGA OF BTS) DANCE PRACTICE (13:43)

  9. "THAT THAT" PSY (PROD AND FEAT SUGA) LIVE | SUMMER SWAG (3:09)

  10. BANGTAN BOMB: SUGA'S SUMMER SWAG SKETCH (10:20)

  11. "THAT THAT" PSY (PROD AND FEAT SUGA) FANCAM | D-DAY TOUR - SEOUL (3:29)

  12. PSY - "THAT THAT" (PROD. & FEAT. SUGA OF BTS) FULL INTERVIEW (9:21)

  13. NO ONE LOVES “THAT THAT” MORE THAN JEON JUNG KOOK (SUCHWITA KARAOKE) (2:56)

 
 

DAY TWO:

 

Aside from writing for a new upcoming solo project during the Pandemic, SUGA was also busy shooting content with BTS and working on a long list of collaborations with other musicians. Ever the professional, he threw himself into the songs he worked on for other artists, but I rather think he also used work as a crutch to deal with his sadness over the state of the world.

IU & SUGA IU’s Palette


Some of the most notable collaborations that occurred during this time launched or nurtured valued friendships that continue to this day. Korean Idol Superstar IU asked SUGA to produce a song for her early in 2020, and the result was her well-loved hit “Eight”. Later, when she appeared on an episode of “Suchwita”, IU confessed that she had originally considered approaching RM for the collab, and so she got his number, but was too nervous to call. Having already spoken to SUGA about it, she asked him to do the collab instead. And then a few years later, she repaid the favor by featuring on a song on D-DAY.

Max had already known SUGA for years, after featuring on “Burn It” from Agust D. When they approached the idea of SUGA doing a return collab for an upcoming album, Max sent him a bunch of songs he thought SUGA would like—ones that sounded more like his style. But SUGA didn’t want to do any of them. He asked Max to send him the entire album, so he did. And then he said he wanted to do “Blueberry Eyes”, which surprised Max because it was just a song he’d written about how much he loves his wife.

And we can’t mention this time period without also giving a shoutout to possibly the best song (IMO) SUGA has ever produced, and that’s “Stay Alive” by Jung Kook from the OST for the 7Fates: CHAKO BTS web series. It’s epic, it’s beautiful, and it pushes all the good feeling buttons. Chef’s kiss.

 

“Stay Alive (Prod. SUGA of BTS)” Official M/V

 
 
 
 
 

Bangtan Bubble: What collab or feature of SUGA’s is your favorite?

 
 

Let us know your answer in the comments below or on social media (include #BangtanBubble)!

 

DAY THREE:

“Haegeum” Official M/V

When I first began my exploration of BTS—you know… ”I just want to know their names, maybe watch a few of their live performances”—I had absolutely zero intention of buying any albums or merchandise. Who uses CDs anymore? And I’ve said this before, but I didn’t have a “bias” either. I didn’t understand the point of it. They were all so amazing… why would you only pick one?


But then, on April 21, 2023, Min Yoongi released D-DAY, punched me in the face with it, and became my very first bias. All in just one day. The first song on the album, also named “D-DAY”, comes in quietly and then kicks you in the teeth immediately with the beginning chorus.


“Future’s gonna be okay,

Okay okay look at the mirror and I see no pain

I’d die for real till the D-Day, but it’s gonna be okay

Time for some paycheck and I’m ridin’ downtown

Switch over, time tickin’ and over

…D-Day’s coming, it’s a f****** good day


The song wastes no time—it dives right into resolving his past so he can move forward. As he reflects on his mistakes, he thinks today is a day to celebrate and look ahead to a brighter future. As D-Day draws ever closer, AGUST D reminds us that it’s time to let go of the restrictions and limitations that may have been holding us back and embrace a new beginning.

 

“Haegeum” Official M/V

“D-Day” was instantly my favorite song on the album and has remained so, even after approximately 7,613 repeat listens. It barrels in like a freight train and sets the tone for the rest of the album—unabashedly introspective. The message of letting go of restrictions transitions beautifully into the following song on the album, which also happens to be the title track: “Haegeum”.


A haegeum is first a traditional Korean string instrument of two silk thread strings. It’s known for its extensive range of various expressions despite having only two strings, with sounds ranging from sorrowful to humorous. But the word “haegeum” also refers to the unlocking or breaking of a ban—letting go of a restriction.

“The thing about idols is that we don’t have to commit a crime or do something controversial for people to blow little things out of proportion and judge us. I could never understand the mentality of those people..”

The M/V picks up the mantle left by “Daechwita” and runs with it. We again see AGUST D playing two characters who are clashing—a corrupt cop on the take and the rebellious underling that bucks the system to go against him. And while he does get captured, when it comes time for his execution, once again the underdog prevails against the system by having help on the inside. 

The message is clear—never give up, even when it feels as though you’re facing insurmountable odds. Don’t let anything hold you back, no matter if it’s obstacles or people trying to block your path, or your own fear. To truly move forward, we have to let go.

 

“Haegeum” Official M/V

 
 

“Haegeum” Dance Practice

 

Fun Fact

SUGA and Jimin listening to music and being swaggy all around South Korea.


Do you need to know anymore? Probably not. This tourist ad campaign from the end of 2021 featuring SUGA and Jimin became virally popular and is still widely mined for memes to this day.

Enjoy!

  1. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – TEASER (0:57)

  2. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – TEASER MAKING FILM (1:34)

  3. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – BUSAN BLUES (2:37)

  4. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – BUSAN BLUES MAKING FILM (2:00)

  5. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – POHANG HIPHOP (2:30)

  6. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – POHANG HIPHOP MAKING FILM (2:15)

  7. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – JEJU JAZZ (3:00)

  8. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – JEJU JAZZ MAKING FILM (2:53)

  9. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – DAEJEON ROCK N ROLL (2:32)

  10. FEEL THE RHYTHM OF KOREA WITH BTS – DAEJEON ROCKNROLL MAKING FILM (2:26)

 

DAY FOUR:

 

“Haegeum” SUGA on the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

While urging us to let go of restrictions, “Haegeum” also encourages us to be aware of the difference between genuine freedom and reckless behavior. We are constantly on social media and it can be easy to get swept away by the overwhelming amount of information that we are exposed to on a daily basis. But AGUST D (as well as ARMY Project 529) invites us to instead critically analyze the info we take in and discern what is truly important.

I wanted to unlock what’s forbidden to us, and since a world of information is just a click away from us now, even I stopped bringing my imagination, and my thoughts into action. So this is my message: “Let’s free ourselves from this thing.”


What does he mean by saying he wanted to “unlock what’s forbidden”? The M/V features both AGUST D characters lighting up and smoking a cigarette, something that’s quite controversial for an Idol to be caught doing. The above quote is from SUGA’s “Road to D-Day” documentary. At the time that he filmed it, he also mentioned that while he himself had never really been in a situation that “caused trouble”, he wanted to write something that emphasized concentrating on what is really important information, not sensational clickbait.

 

“Haegeum” Official M/V

All those controversies cause confusion in judgment

and ceaselessly get produced again, uh

What would it be that restricted us

Would it be possible that we did it ourselves

Slaves to capitalism, slaves to money

Slaves to hatred, prejudice, and revulsion

Slaves to YouTube, slaves to flexing

Selfishness and greed are frantically rampaging

Turn a blind eye and it’s all easy, it’s all obvious

Opinions are so transparently driven by interests

Everyone is blinded by envy and jealousy

without even realizing that they’re putting shackles on each other

I hope we don’t get swept away by the tsunami of information

because we all can differentiate freedom from self-indulgence

Last summer, SUGA was involved in an incident that caused “controversy” and brought him under the magnifying glass of public scrutiny. Suddenly the lyrics here from “Haegeum” felt strangely prophetic, as did his quote about everything Idols doing being blown out of proportion. The internet was indeed flooded with fake, click-baity articles about SUGA, often written with no other motivation except greed. SUGA’s name would generate clicks, and attention for the poster. It didn’t matter to any of them whether what they wrote about him was true. 


Since that happened, I think it opened up a lot of ARMY’s eyes to how misleading the world of fast information can truly be. SUGA’s incident was, much like the smoking controversies he mentioned before, blown out of proportion and he was forced to deal with consequences that didn’t match the reality of what had actually occurred. True fans listened to SUGA’s words and took “Haegeum” to heart.


Remembering to think for ourselves, and to truly absorb the constant onslaught of information thrown at us responsibly and with a discerning eye is a way for us to acknowledge having dreams as we get older. This is, overall, what "Haegeum" is about—embracing individuality, creativity, and freedom of expression in a world where conformity and restriction can often be the norm. 

But, like, don’t be a dick about it… okay?

 
 
 

“Haegeum” Live Clip

 

D-DAY Fancam D-DAY Tour New York

 

INTRO + "HAEGEUM" + "DAECHWITA" - SUGA | D-DAY TOUR - JAPAN

Fun Fact:

“I  will sue you, Min Yoongi! Take responsibility for how you’ve made me feel!”


If you spend any time at all taking in the stunningly beautiful creature that is in any of the magazine and brand campaigns listed below, then you, like myself, will begin to understand the mindset of the young girl who shouted those words at SUGA during a fan meeting so many years ago.


How could you do this to me, Yoongi? Marry Me!


  1. VALENTINO THE NARRATIVES | THE NEW MENSWEAR CAMPAIGN (0:35)

  2. SUGA STARS IN MAISON VALENTINO ESSENTIALS (0:32)

  3. SUGA FOR MAISON VALENTINO ESSENTIALS (0:19)

  4. MAISON VALENTINO ESSENTIALS | STARRING SUGA | TWIXTOR CLIPS FOR EDIT (0:37)

  5. SEEN AT VALENTINO LE CLUB COUTURE | VALENTINO LE CLUB COUTURE (0:13)

  6. SUGA VALENTINO FASHION SHOW TWIXTOR CLIPS FOR EDITS | FANBOY FOREVER (1:03)

  7. MARIE CLAIRE EXCLUSIVE* BTS SUGA VALENTINO SHOW SKETCH #1 (0:31)

  8. MARIE CLAIRE EXCLUSIVE* BTS SUGA VALENTINO SHOW SKETCH #2 (0:27)

  9. SUGA X VALENTINO MARIE CLAIRE’S MAY ISSUE’S COVER BEHIND-THE-SCENE (4:22)

  10. VALENTINO TWIRL ECONOGRAF JUMPING SHOES AND A COAT WITH THE COLORS OF THE SKY IN SPRING VALENTINO SUGA FASHION FILM 1 (0:20)

  11. VALENTINO SUGA FASHION FILM 2 WEARING A PINK PP BLOUSON BY VALENTINO (0:17)

  12. BTS SUGA WEARING VALENTINO'S PRE-FALL 2023 COLLECTION LOOK VALENTINO SUGA FASHION FILM 3 (0:26)

  13. THE FREESTYLE X SUGA: FREEDOM TO BE YOU | SAMSUNG (1:28)

  14. THE FREESTYLE X SUGA: HOW SUGA SPENDS HIS DAYS OFF | SAMSUNG (2:19)

  15. SUGA OF BTS MEETS THE FREESTYLE 2ND GEN. | SAMSUNG (0:44)

  16. MAGAZINE UNBOXING | VOGUE JAPAN AUGUST 2023 (0:42)

  17. SUGA INTERVIEW FULL IN ENGLISH | VOGUE JAPAN 2023 (7:21)

  18. SUGA X GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS ALL-ACCESS | NBA (0:55)

  19. COMPILATION: BTS SUGA DURING AND AFTER HIS COURTSIDE APPEARANCE AT NBA JAPAN GAMES(4:10)

 
 

DAY FIVE:

“Amgydala” Official M/V

Sometimes we experience pivotal moments in our lives, but they don’t seem that important at the time. Maybe we make a phone call, take a different route to work, or maybe we don’t cancel on that friend who’s been trying to make plans with us for over a month… whatever it might be, it could seem inconsequential, but ultimately turn out to be a big step we take on the journey of taking care of our mental health.

Since his very first mixtape, SUGA has been up front about his struggles with his own mental health and he’s let ARMY in on how he processes what that entails. With his decision that D-DAY would likely be the final installment in what was being called the AGUST D trilogy, there were some stories he needed to finish. Scars that needed to be explored and dealt with.

“Amygdala”, the next song we’re discussing, is a stark and emotional walk through Yoongi’s brain while he tries to deal with and protect himself from past traumas. What is an amygdala? It is a small, almond-shaped structure in the brain that processes emotions, particularly fear. It's part of the limbic system, which is responsible for controlling emotions, behavior, and memory.

The song gives us a long list of damaging moments Yoongi has experienced in his life. There are some I’ve mentioned before, like his mother’s heart surgery, the motor vehicle accident he was in while still a trainee that he desperately hid the truth of for years out of fear of losing his place in Big Hit and BTS. We also hear about how not getting proper treatment for the injury early led to him taking more and more pain medicine over the years. And then, his father’s cancer diagnosis. All things he felt he had very little control over.

“Amgydala” Official M/V

The first best choices
And then the second best choices
And then the second best to the second best choices, choices, choices, yeah
Things that I didn’t want to happen
Things that were out of my control

In the M/V, as he lays out these memories for us one by one, we see that he is once again two characters… one is the SUGA of the past, going out to do his food deliveries—fated to get hit by that car over and over. The other SUGA is trapped in a room that clearly represents his mind—his amygdala in fact. He relives each moment again and again, and eventually we see him give himself the scar over his eye that we’ve come to so closely associate with AGUST D. A physical manifestation of all of his pain.

Then, we watch him struggle to reach the door in the room he’s trapped in; we watch him try to overcome and conquer his own pain. It looks so difficult. He’s moving slowly, he keeps falling down. The pills make him woozy and out of it. I have also struggled with my mental health for most of my life. Watching Yoongi share something that was obviously deeply personal for him was difficult, but also extremely comforting. And it mirrored how I’ve often felt. I’m a prisoner in my own brain at times, fighting to get out and do something, ANYTHING, differently. 

He never makes it to the door in the M/V. His alter ego tries to rescue him, but it comes to naught, and as the video ends, it seems like maybe he’ll just be trapped there forever. Maybe this is the only solution. Dealing with something like depression isn’t something you can cure and move on from. It is a part of you for your entire life. But you can find ways to manage it. Therapy, medication, letting yourself lean on those around you. 

Yoongi has also been open about seeking therapy and the journey it has brought him on. Which is likely why, at his final “D-Day” concert in Seoul, he made sure we saw him FINALLY reach that door and walk through after he sang “Amygdala”. Just doing one thing differently—perhaps a call to that therapist—put him on the path to healing. And it’s something we can all do. When the time is right, we can all have that moment of doing something different… something that allows us to reach that door.

 
 
 
 

EPISODE: AGUST D "AMYGDALA" MV & JACKET SHOOT SKETCH

 

“Amygdala” Fancam | D-DAY TOUR - NY, D1

 
 
 
 

Bangtan Bubble: Do you know what your door is? Have you walked through it yet?

 

Let us know your answer in the comments below or on social media (include #BangtanBubble)!

 
 

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I’m not crying, you are! Okay, we all are. When I look back at SUGA’s journey from 2013 to 2023, I am astounded. When BTS debuted, he had so much anger inside him, so much of a burning will to prove his worth to everyone, but most especially his parents. The cocky edge of his smirk served him well in those early hungry days, but as the group found themselves, and began evolving, so too did SUGA.

Join us again next week as we continue our emotional rollercoaster exploration of D-Day. We’ll talk more about dreams, and what SUGA envisions for himself in the future.

 

 
 

Side Quest

“Suchwita! Suchwita!”

Did I ever think about Min Yoongi having his own chat show on YouTube before 2023? Nope. Sure didn’t. But after it was announced, nothing else could have made more sense to me. 


Previously (on Yoonguary, lol) we showed you the series of BTS’ radio chat show “BTS Kkul Honey FM”, which SUGA always hosted as DJ SUGA. He remarked several times during the production of the series that he caught the bug and wouldn’t mind hosting a radio show someday. 


He might not have gotten a radio show, but I think “Suchwita” (which means “Drinking with SUGA”) works better for him anyway. A chat show where the guest brings the drinks and then they shoot the shit with each other, chatting about music, life, and anything in between. All of the BTS members have been on the show by now, along with some BTS adjacent friends and collaborators.


SUGA’s main goal in creating the show was so his fellow members would have somewhere to go to talk about their creative process and making their solo albums… which, I’m sorry, if that isn’t the sweetest most, “That’s MY best friend!!!” energy ever, then I don’t know what is.

 

Episode 8 SUGA with Yeonjun & Taehyun

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

CREDITS:

YouTube/Web

BANGTANTV, HYBE LABELS, 1THEK, 7FATES: CHAKHO by HYBE, Amelinda Tran, BANGTAN SUBS, BANGTANBASE, BTS ISLAND: IN THE SEOM, Bunnerry, ColbyTwentyOne1, DKDKTV, dltmdgh, DT SUGA, Fanboy Forever, Hello idol_xoxo, Hex Bangwool, Imagine Your Korea, JAEGUCHI, JK's_Purple_Hair, kartikey, kitchiekook, LoveYourselfv, mar1eru, MARIE CLAIRE KOREA, MAX, NBA, OFFICIALPSY, ØMI, Purple

ARMY Project 529 Volunteers

Research Team: Angel (TikTok: Lilangel2828), Leslie Day (TikTok: Leslie Day), Merry (TikTok: merryj67), Sam T (TikTok: samt_26), Shelley (TikTok: shels167), Trudy (TikTok: theeducationmommy), Viv (TikTok: VivEliz); Video Team: Leslie Day (TikTok: Leslie Day), Namz (TikTok: Namz07)

 
 

Join us on TikTok every Sunday evening at 8pm ET for #the529live, a wrap up of each week's “Monday Muster”, thoughtful discussions, and tons of laughter! It’s hosted by AP529 Founder, Stefne, on her channel (@StefARMYProject529). Catch us every Wednesday night at 9pm ET on our project YouTube channel (@ARMYProject529) for #the529tea, when we dish about all the news going on with Bangtan. 

If you can't watch in real time and want to catch up later, Lives are recorded and posted to our YouTube (@ARMY Project 529).


Quince
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